Yesterday, I decided to treat myself to a movie and went to the local multiplex where I saw V for Vendetta starring Natalie Portman. I have been wanting to see it for a while, which I mentioned before. Natalie recently impressed me with her skills as a rapper, so I decided to forgive her for the Amidala thing.

Vendetta is great, in a big-budget-studio-flick kind of way. Natalie plays Evey Hammond, the damsel in distress, saved by a masked man named "V" who has a lot to say and even more things to blow up. The film calls for a revolution: "Governments should be afraid of their people." In reaction to the State of Fear that rules over the population. Vendetta has quite a bit of "queer" content, which was surprising. Not "queer" like cowboys getting it on in a tent, or trannies on a cross-country trip, but "queer" as in: a future in which being gay is a crime, amongst many other things that could land you in a concentration camp. The philosophical ideas in this film are grand and confusing, but it nonetheless remains interesting and entertaining. Personally, I like the "Phantom of the Opera"/"Beauty and the Beast" theme and here it is in full Camp effect. Yeah, there are a few holes in the plot and the extended lesbian flashback sequence was sort of naive, but the intentions of the Wachowski Brothers (who wrote the script) are good, so it's okay. Alan Moore, who wrote the source material comic book, took his name off the film, which means little, since he takes his name off of every movie that is based on his comics.

New movie from the guys who made "Latter Days," Adam & Steve starring Parker Posey and Chris Kattan. Yes, that's Courtney Love singing the theme song "Love Love Love." This film comes out at the end of the month and I can't wait.

One of the clips features Posey saying how Oprah has "made it impossible for me to have a meaningful relationship with anyone...except Oprah." So true.

Browsing the net, as we all do, I happened upon a fascinating website that claims Morrissey predicted the death, not of a disco dancer but a princess. That's right, Diana.

THE DIANA-MORRISSEY PHENOMENON

What is fascinating is not so much the actual "facts" but the actual "girth" of this site. Usually, I am not a fan of conspiracy theories and the like, but this site is supercool. I am jealous. I wish I could identify coincidences on this mind-boggling level, in my own life.

As V for Vendetta hits theaters this week, I've been thinking about the rumors that one half of the Wachowski Brothers, who produced "Vendetta", is a transvestite. They say money and power can change a person, but this is just too great! Rolling Stone has a fairly interesting article about Larry's "trans"formation and the strange relationship he has with a well known Dominatrix.

"V for Vendetta" promises to be an interesting film and I have to say that I am more interested in what the Wachowski Siblings have to say about terrorism, than say...Oliver Stone, who is also tackling terrorists with the upcoming "World Trade Center" starring Nic Cage. I recently realized just how much Oliver Stone hates us, all of us. There are countless examples of this, far too numerous to list here. Just think about it.

As for Larry Wachowski and the cross-dressing, bondage, etc. I say: "You go, girl! Hollywood needs more freaks like you."

In other news, I watched as the Queen Mother (Oprah Winfrey) told young girls to wait before having sex. Oprah compared losing their virginity to her own quest to become Imelda Marcos. "It's like when I am shoe shopping," said Winfrey. "Do I really need another pair of Prada shoes? If there's a doubt, don't do it." Hey, at least she is trying to relate to normal people.

Also, on Tyra today, I learned that Tyra Banks has an extreme dislike of the word "bitch" and refuses to say it, except when referring to little dogs. So, she does a whole show about "bitches" and says the letter "B" instead. As in, "Does that make me a 'B'?" and "Yo, 'B'! Get off my stage!" It was such a trainwreck! The finale consisted of a bunch of gay guys parading their own little bitches around the stage in feather boas and the like. I guess B is for Bitch, whether you like it or not.

Yo! Click HERE to see the chick say "Suck my D*ck!"

This is the poster for The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things, starring and directed by Asia Argento, based on the "novel" by JT Leroy. It opens this week in LA and New York. I love Asia Argento. Have you seen Scarlet Diva? Great exploitation flick. This one looks good, too. Can't wait...

The text on the poster (in case you can't read it) explains how the film plans to deal with the recent controversy. "Behind the greatest hoax of our time is the heartbreaking story that started it all. The seductive tale of 'JT Leroy'"

These are my thoughts about the Academy Awards, as they happened:

Is Jon bombing?

Cowboys are so gay!

Nicole Kidman looks hot.

George Clooney looks hotter. Hello Daddy!

More evidence that Ben Stiller is a complete dweeb.

What the f*ck is Naomi Watts wearing?

Dolly don't need no stinkin' band. Weirdness on top of some more weirdness.

Blah, blah, didn't see it.

Look for more films about Were-Rabbits in the future.

Aniston - lose the necklace. Also, same hair as always...snooze. No wonder he left...

I'd like to thank the people of Earth...

Wait a minute, Gandhi was a real guy?

Pineapple Bliss!

Rachel McWho? Honey, stop with the Bedazzler...

Weisz wins. Nice dress, pregnant, right?

TAB Energy??? My prayers have been answered!

Bacall struggles with the lines. Just make it up, honey, no one will know.

Film Noir. What's the point?

Didn't see it, don't care.

Charlize! NO! How many times must I tell you? NO f*cking shoulder bows!

Penguins win! Nice tuxedos! It's good to see grown men with stuffed toys.

JLo Peron?

The fire song from Crash... Big Aimee Mann rip-off! She should slap that bitch...
Listen to the Magnolia soundtrack again and tell me I'm wrong. Dolly better win.

Bullock and Reeves! Separated at birth?

Geisha must be a beautiful, gorgeous film about the glamorous life of forced prostitution. Sorry I missed it.

I'm as bored as hell, and I'm not gonna watch it anymore!

(Goes to kitchen to retrieve snacks.)

Salma Hayek, smokin'! What a movie star. I love her accent. Baby, you can mangle my dialogue anytime!

YES! Brokeback Soundtrack wins! I still get teary when I hear it.

Hollywood sure toots its own horn on this show. Oscars salute to montages! LOL

What is Jessica Alba doing at the Academy Awards? Was Jessica Simpson unavailable?
Nice Versace though.

Meryl and Lily! At long last... Love this bit. Too much talent! Riffing on Altman is much more fun than actual Altman films. Jesus, this dude is old. Meryl looks great in grape. Memoirs of a Tomlin?

Lovin on the Pimp Song! Every Awards show needs a big production number with ho's and pimps! Bitch brings it home with that last note! Piiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmppppp!

Latifah is Queen of Being Comfortable in Any Room. And the pimps win... Look for Dolly Parton next album, "It's Hard Lookin Like a Ho" out this spring.

Jennifer Garner almost biffs it, shoot! Still nursing, I see.

Kong wins another technical. Why wasn't Naomi Watts nominated? Keira Knightley should be ashamed.

In Memoriam...sad.

Didn't see it.

Ziyi Zhang looks cute. Nice English, girl!

Swank looks swank! She always likes to remind everyone she is a girl. Well done!

Best Actor is... Capote! Will he bark? No . Gave props to Mom, though. Heath and Joaquin don't look that upset.

M&M's are sexy.

What is with Travolta's hair? Creepy. Uber-creepy...

Jamie Foxx in blue silk. Snore.

Best Actress is... Reese! Aww.... Such a sweetie. Watched "Freeway" again last night and have to say that it was inevitable that she would win an Oscar someday.

Trannies everywhere must feel horrible right now.

Brokeback Adaptation Wins! Yeah! Diana Osanna looks hot.

Holy Shit! UMA rules! Uma, Uma, Uma! Nice dress, brilliant hair.

Best Director...Ang Lee!!!! Woo Hoo! Gay mens and women?

Jack is the King of Being Nicholson in Any Room.

Best Picture is... Crash.

I'm bummed. Wanted Brokeback to win. Oh, well. Crash was great.

Now I know how to quit you.

Scarlett Johansson will not be attending the Academy Awards this Sunday because she is "terrified" of another red carpet molestation. At the Golden Globes last month, designer Isaac Mizrahi (of TARGET) blatantly groped the young actress on live television. Though she seems to be enjoying herself, secretly the fondling has had a devastating effect on Miss Johansson. Sources say that she has been plagued by nightmares ever since and that her mother has forbidden her to go to any awards shows in the future. When asked to explain the incident, Mizrahi simply stated that he was merely trying to see what the appeal (of Scarlett Johansson) was. "God forbid some talent oozes out!"

Which brings us to Lil' Kim and what's all over the jail cell floor? Kimberly Jones (aka Lil' Kim, rapper/hip hop blow-up doll), who is currently in prison for perjury, is afraid her gigantic boobs have sprung a leak. Seriously.