In line with my newest obsession, I thought I should help spread the word about Manchester Passion, which is a "contemporary retelling" of Jesus' final hours using modern hits from bands like The Smiths, New Order, Joy Division, and Oasis. Airing on BBC3 on Good Friday, the live procession through the streets of Manchester promises to be like nothing I have heard of that didn't involve Andrew Lloyd Webber.

The climax of the event sees Jesus sing the Smiths classic song Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now as he is being flayed by Roman soldiers.

Only in England, right?

So, I'm deep, deep, deeply into a major Morrissey moment people. I know it's probably just some bizarre manifestation of my eternal loneliness. If anyone were paying attention, it might be considered a red flag situation. In retrospect, after I'm committed, someone will say: "Well, there was that whole Morrissey thing he went through..."

Today, for instance, I traded in a bunch of trending crap CD's at Amoeba for store credit. I was pretty offended that they wouldn't take Season 1 of the "Anna Nicole Show," but I guess I understand why. I used my credit to get Smithy with it and soon found myself at a checkout stand purchasing FOUR new (to me) CD's.

The Smiths "Singles"
The Smiths "Strangeways, Here We Come"
Morrissey "Viva Hate"
Morrissey "Your Arsenal"

The guy at the checkout stand didn't even blink. He just rang 'em up and said: "These will make you feel better." Almost doctorly, as if diagnosing and prescribing medication simultaneously, he handed me my purchases and sent me on my way toward health. I have a funny feeling that he was right.

Next time you are feeling smug, remember Barbarella and all she had yet to learn.

Lindsey Lohan admits being a bulimic and dabbling in drugs in the new issue of Vanity Fair. So, can someone explain to me why I should care?

This sort of thing used to be reserved for washed up stars who have ruined their careers, like Courtney Love. Not 19 year old starlets. It was called "Scandal" and now it's called "Celebrity." It was endearing in Judy Garland, I felt sorry for her. With Lindsey, it just makes me sick. I have never wanted to bitch-slap someone more.

Now there are headlines like this: Lohan hospitalized after asthma attack!
With all the bullshit surrounding her, I'm having trouble breathing myself.