Here are some things that really turn me on:

WEEDS is totally hot right now.
It's pretty much the reason I have cable. It's on Showtime and stars Mary Louise Parker as a suburban widow who deals pot to support her family. The writing is smart and funny in a way that television so desperately needs. (This housewife snatched the Emmy away from Mark Cherry's girls with ease. He should be taking notes.)
Justin Kirk and Elizabeth Perkins are excellent in their supporting roles. The only drawback is the half hour runtime, it always leaves me wanting more. Just like weed...

Project Runway has my vote for best reality series on the air. Completely addictive and compelling, I just love this show. Who knew that fashion design could be this entertaining? This has replaced America's Next Top Model in my own viewing schedule. Tim Gunn is the secret weapon of the show, providing almost fatherly advice to the designers. My pick? I'm down with Jeffrey all the way, though Uli and Laura are pretty damn good.

Saved! is a black comedy about Christians that features a white Jesus. It stars Jena Malone as a "good girl" who sacrifices her virginity to save her boyfriend from the hellfire and damnation he faces as a homosexual. It doesn't work... Look for standout performances by Mandy Moore and Mac Culkin. Excellent movie... Just great, despite the fact that it's not really new. Thanks to the miracle of cable, I recently became re-acquainted with its charm. Why this is not in my vast and obnoxious DVD collection, I have no idea.

That's all for now... If something really fierce comes along, I'll let you know.

John Travolta kissing a man! Well, it happens a lot 'round here:



I think this is just great. First Tom, now John... The Fall of Mad Mel was nice, too. These celebrities sure know how to keep us entertained!

Here are my thoughts on the show, as it happened:

Justin Timberlake is a hot nerd, who beat boxes! But the boy can dance...

Jennifer Lopez is the Norma Desmond of MTV.

Lil' Kim! The bitch is paroled, but risks being arrested by the fashion police in that outfit.

James Blunt. *sigh* Still?

Wait, Fergie's new album is called "The Dutchess"?

Shakira is a belly dancer, who knew? God, I am over this song. Now I really can't wait for Christina.

Underneath the floors of Radio City Music Hall, millions of Pussycat Dolls are being bred and raised for emergency dance sequences. They are like the Spice Girls, except with VD.

Sarah Silverman talking about Lance Bass: "He's gay? I guess that makes sense. Remember the time he wanted to go to the moon? Space Travel is so gay. Space Travel is like the Liza Minnelli of travel."

I'm embarassed for Jessica Simpson.

OKGO rock! What a bizarre performance. I'm impressed.

Nevermind, it's just Beyonce. What the fuck is she so pissed about?

Jared Leto is so weird.

Ringtone of the Year Award???!!!!

Panic! At The Disco: I heard my parents screwing and it really messed me up.

Apparently, God and MTV work together, because everybody thanked them as a team.

Christina Aguilera is so fucking cool! Looks good, sounds good, feels good, too.

Al Gore? Please don't bring your sexy back....

THE KILLERS KILL!!!!

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Anyway, those are the notes I took during the show. There was a lot of things that I just didn't watch because of the utter lameness of it. Also, I noticed that they gave almost all of the little psuedo-gothic metal bands an award of some kind. I have trouble telling them apart. AFI, Panic, Fall Out Boy, AAR, they all kind of suck in the same ways. I have never seen so much eyeliner wasted.